Thursday, September 02, 2010

A Wish a Day - Day Four

Today's wish: May you have limitless energy.

Today's crane: Paper from the recycled paper envelope our energy bill arrived in today.

The pinwheels and landscape: Paper from an old magazine.

I've been thinking a lot about energy today. We received our latest power bill and ouch! I try to be really good about our consumption, but have apparently let things slide a little. I often have my "if I win the lotto" fantasies about the house I would have built; it would be eco friendly, energy efficient and off the grid as much as possible. Like many people, I worry about what energy sources will be available in the future and would like a push by the powers to be towards more sustainable systems.

And then on a personal note, something I don't normally talk about on the blog. I've wrestled with the decision to talk about it at all. I have a couple of chronic health conditions that can really zap my energy, one of which is fibromyalgia. Usually, as long as I take care of myself and stay on top of sleep, for me it's quite manageable. Recently I haven't been getting enough sleep. Today the fatigue and the pain levels went through the roof. It was a morning when I was really glad I didn't live alone as I'm not sure how I would have managed. For most of the day I struggled to walk and wasn't even able to pick up my little one. To get through the day, I took the strongest painkiller cocktail I could, which then made me even more exhausted. By the afternoon, I gave up and just went back to bed. I worry sometimes about what genes I may have passed onto my little one. There were a number of times in the past when the illness was bad that I wondered if I really should be a mother at all. Even on a daily basis, energy is something that I have to decide how I will use, knowing that I only have limited reserves.

So there comes the inspiration for today's wish, one that works on a global and a very personal level.


MadScientistK said...

I can't seem to articulate what I really want to say, but "there, there, it will be all right" comes pretty close. And "you aren't alone."

Thea said...

I'm sorry to hear this Melanie. We really do have to slow down and take care of ourselves. Are you able to take a daily nap?

Anonymous said...

What a thought provoking wish. So much we take for granted.
You're a real trooper, Melanie. You have and are so much more than you give yourself credit for.
What you achieve in a day (most days) is astounding. Be kind to yourself.

Kate @ UpsideBackwards said...

A simple wish in return: may you have more good days than bad ones. Also, may the comments here bear you up when pain and fatigue get you down. Lots of internet-hugs!

teresa fsw said...

Please take good care of yourself Melanie. You need your health to take care of yourself and your lovely family! I'm giving you my moral support from the little red dot! Hang in there Melanie! ^_^

Baa-Me Kniits said...

A lovely wish Melanie. You are brave to share and I hope you get a lot of 'energy' from the lovely comments you will recieve. I think I should make a paper crane out of my power bill....its about all its useful for ;-)

Kirsten said...

strange, i saw the bit about energy and it didn't even occur to me that it meant anything other than body/mind used to lacking in that department and being constantly aware i guess. if you ever want to chat about the fibromyalgia i know where you are coming from.

i adore this idea of yours with the cranes - thought i'd wait a few days before commenting as imagined you'd be inundated!

my wish for you...days where you don't even have to take energy into account, where pain doesn't hinder your dreams and your body is truly free. XXOO

Red Hen (dette) said...

I have fibromyalgia (fortunately mine is mostly mild) as well as the hypothyroidism - so I can empathize with you totally! I am glad that I am here (most days - as as you know depression is a side affect of an inactive thyroid,) I love my children and I marvel at the beauty in the world, both man made and natural, big and small.
Just think that if you hadn't bought your little one into the world she would not be here to experience life with all it's ups and downs.
Many people have 'crosses to bare' be they genetically inherited, or situational, she may not inherit these things so don't let it get you down. I don't blame my parents for bringing me into the world with a family history that includes as well as the two mentioned above, breast cancer, heart disease, alcoholism and here's a good one -kugelberg welander syndrome!
My life has had it's ups and downs but I'm glad I've had it.
Take care and don't be hard on yourself.

BumbleVee said...

who would have known? You seem to be so busy always ...and find time to create so much....

hugs, Vee

Anonymous said...

Hi Melanie, I have just discovered your blog (I'm a bit slow) and am really enjoying it. I'm glad that you shared your health issues. It's a part of your life that impacts hugely on you, yet others don't see. Sometimes that can be a burden. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and have struggled a little with how much to share about it. I decided that because it is such a significant part of my life, I couldn't not, and also think we need to speak out more about these disabling chronic illness. Of course, most of the time there are much more interesting things to think and talk about! Re: the genes, I think it's a bit of a lucky dip really. How many of us really know what the gene pool holds? Children are the joy (mostly) in our lives. Take care, be kind to yourself, Jenny


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